Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Taking A Dive!

Since I came to Korea about 8 months ago I have honestly had the most difficult time making friends. Which is odd for me. I usually make them easily. So the past few weeks I have reflected as to the reasons why...are you ready?! Its kind of long! Here we go...

1) Im 22 years old. What are people doing that are in their early 20's?
  1. Drinking and partying. OR
  2. Married with a family/engaged/dating with a family. OR
  3. They are single with no Children and no spouse.
I do not fall under any of those catagories. Do I drink, yea on occasion. Am I married/engaged/dating or ever have been? Nope. Am I single with NO children. Of course NOT, you all know about Kason...the love of my life. This is difference number 1. 

2) I am a Single Soldier with a Child NOT a soldier's spouse. 

I live in Army housing not the barracks. Army housing is filled with soldiers who obvisouly work and spouses were most of them dont work. Army spouses confide in each other...they have a different realtionship with each other than the female soldier who wants to become their friend. Is it possible to be friends with an army spouse? Of course it is. But it is a very different friendship that causes you to be left out of things a lot due to the fact that you work. You also do not know that special bond that military wives have with each other. 

3) Due to number 2 as I said I do not live in the barracks.

Which is odd for me...the barracks is how I made my friends at Ft. meet other single soldiers and you form a friendship. I made friends so quick by participating in the BOSS program. Well thats something that I cant really do here. BOSS is GREAT, so much fun! But the problem is that BOSS is full of partiers something that I am no longer. I had my days of waking up and not remembering what happened the night before, I have already had my all night long dates with my face in the toliet. Did I like it then? Yes. Do I reflect upon those days often? Of course, they are some of my best memories. Do I want to go back those days? Nope, I need to be a good example for my baby boy...I dont want him to make the same choices I did. I am content with my putting my partying days behind me. Not to mention that fact that BOSS holds nothing that is appropriate for children and if they do its nothing Kason and do. My time with my baby is already limited due to work, so I refuse to give up more time with him on the weekends...I treasure my Kason/Mommy time with all my heart.  

(NOTE: "BOSS" stands for Better Opportunites For Single Soldiers)

I guess this is it. Well these are just the reasons why I find making friends in Korea so hard. Upon further reflection of my many other reasons as to "What makes me different" I find that they hold no meaning to my more so vent about my loneliness since coming to Korea.   

So....what am I going to do about all of this???

Well I cant change anything about me or my situation...nor do I really want to. So I have decided to find a Church and maybe a bible study and go there. I think im finally ready to step foot in one again...odd for a Chaplain Assistant to say I know...but when your waking up at the crack of dawn every sunday morning to work a service with a bunch of obnoxious IET soldiers it makes church a lot less enjoyable. Not to mention the late Wednesday nights I worked for over 2 years with a bunch of annoying soldiers...and then on top of that all fighting with your Chaplain to get just a little bit of comp time for it.

Anyways back to the subject...

I think Church is something that God is actually calling me back to do...I struggeled with my faith for a little while and this will of course help me find it again and at the same time hopefully help me find some people that I have some similiarties to. Now as you all know I live in S. Korea...where the language is completely different, so im sure you can all imagine just how difficult it is to find a church that is in English, NOT military related (because military churches are more so for married is true as with most other civillian churches I have found) plus has everything im looking for...Something with a Young Adult atmosphere. It was difficult...but not as hard as I thought...someone on FB told me about a church called Jubilee Seoul Church it kind of just fell into my lap I was getting frusterated to. It seems to be from the website and their facebook everything that I am looking for. Kason and I will be going this Sunday for the first time and I couldnt be MORE excited about it! I hope that it IS EVERYTHING that I am looking for and I hope that Kason and I get accepted their with open arms. They even have a daycare for during service so maybe Kason can make some new friends to. I think this will all be very beneficial for Kason as well...and all tho I dont want to shove religion down his throat I want him to at least get to know God...the person who gave me strength to become what I am today and was always there when I had a HUGE hurdle to jump in life even when I was mad or didnt believe he even exsisted. I plan to allow Kason to make his own descion later on in life but I want it to be an educated descion.

So heres to my NEW Journey on making friends, becoming a 'better' follower to christ, and becoming a better example to my most prescious gift. Wish me luck everyone...cause I'm taking a Dive. :)

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